Ailments

So I have had a lot of time to think over the past few days.  Some time to ponder some things, time to pray about others.  I have learned many things.  I have totally realized that the devil attacks me where I am most vulnerable....physically.  Dealing with shingles has been rough.  I have had many things in my life, too many surgeries to count, broken bones, cuts, bruises and so on.  It have given me a large pain tolerance.  The funny thing is I used to be the biggest chicken, and still am.  Hate the sight of my own blood, simply because it could mean stitches...and that means a needle.  Yes, I had a bad bad experience as a child.  NOw after much time to think I am putting it all into perspective.  The devil wants to put me back to that horrific time.  And I am weakest in my physical.  NOT ANY MORE!!!!  Some amazing folks spoke some good things into my life and I have received them and am claiming them and standing on them.  This shingles has totally knocked the stuffing out of me.  It is by far the most painful thing I have ever had.  I know that kidney stones are less painful than this.  But there are silver linings, wrapped up for me from God.  I dont have a kidney stone, that is a great thing.  AND this will heal.  It will also allow me to have a better understanding of how my clients feel at work.  I want to be the most compassionate I can be.  This will allow that. 

I have also really missed my mom.  Lets face it, noone makes you feel as good as your mom when you are sick.  (if you were blessed enough to have a great mom!!) I take comfort in knowing that she is at least looking down on me.  I just wish she was here, she would rub my back and tickle my ear with her long finger nails.  That would lull me to sleep.  That is a good memory.  Yes, it pulls my heart strings, but it also comforts me.  I love you Mom and I miss you terribly. 

So I know that I will heal.  I also know that I have lost sight of where I was wanting my life to go.  I have gained that this week.  I have promises to claim, I have still so many folks I want to touch.  I have much desire to be used and be a light.  That keeps me going.  And this pain will be short term, and for that I am thankful.